I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
