Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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