my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
