bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
