Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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