I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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