he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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