I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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