I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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