whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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