My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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