But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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