3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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