woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
