Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
