He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
