In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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