i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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