saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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