I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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