I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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