physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
