just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
how drunk are you?
Several
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
