Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
