you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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