don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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