I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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