"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
