We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That accounts for only three of the penises
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
