He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
