My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
