At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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