"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
