wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
