if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
