My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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