Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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