you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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