During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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