speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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