fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
