I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
