before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
