I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
