I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
