My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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