Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's like iHOP with fire
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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