it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
