Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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