I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just cropdusted the office
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
